Racing Offseason Update 2

January 11, 2011
by Lee

So I put together a quick article the other day with some of the goings on for the offseason, and who would know that a bunch of new news would be breaking this week. Let’s get down to it.

In the first big story of the week, and definitely the most important, Milka Duno continues to wallow through the Her Danicaship’s (A.K.A. Danica Patrick) already done  and unsuccessful career path. It would appear that Milka has been confirmed for a run in the ARCA series at Daytona in February. As I posted on Bill’s FaceBook page yesterday, I feel sorry for the car since it will be going for its last ride on a suicide mission. Good luck Milka, we will have predictions on what lap you wreck the car. I cannot wait for someone to give her a ride in the Nationwide Series. It will give ESPN the opportunity to follow two losers around the track. At least the wreck footage will be spectacular.

The IZOD IndyCar Series has made a major announcement as well. It would appear that the series will now use double file restarts on all oval tracks staring this year. We have now gotten use to seeing double file restarts in NASCAR with leaders battling it out going into turn one. Unfortunately for the fans of the IndyCar series, we won’t necessarily see the leaders go into turn one battling for the lead.  In a non genius decision at the league’s headquarters, lap down cars not in front of the leader at the time of the restart will not be sent to the back of the pack, they will continue to line up in the spot they are in. Keep in mind the first time this rule will be used will be at the Indy 500. I cannot wait for Milka Duno or some other field filler to take out the second, third, or other front runner in the race on a restart because they are so much slower. The IndyCar series if halfway there on making restarts on the ovals better, hopefully in the 2012 season they will fix this rule the way it should be.

On a side not on this rule, should Her Danicaship be taken out from a chance to win any oval race by a slower vehicle, be ready for the most intense [redact]bitch[/redact] session you have ever season. The drama will be overwhelming and the series will have to change the rule to the NASCAR style restart with lap down cars behind the leader sent to the back. And, why was the rule written this way. The genius running the show of IndyCar said the leader had earned this advantage. Great, the leader gets an advantage of slower cars possibly taking out his or her competitors. Sounds reasonable to me,…….. cough cough cough, horse[redact]shit[/redact].

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